The God Complex

Some thoughts. When you are presented with something so scary, so utterly terrifying that you are all but consumed by this most primal fear, you fall back on your faith. You fall back on what you know is rock-solid, what makes you brave. In The God Complex (Doctor Who, of course,) they explore this idea through a monster that feeds on that faith. It lures you in with the one thing that scares you most, making you reveal who or what you have this unshakeable faith in, and it takes it from you. Then you die. It was fascinating to think about, the idea that there is this thing in everyone that keeps them going, without which, you just wither and die. I think depression might be just that: the loss of that faith that keeps you brave, strong, and marching on, despite whatever scary ass shit life throws at you. Your faith is intertwined with hope, that this thing you believe in will lead you out of whatever situation you are facing at the time. For Amy, her faith was the Doctor.


This episode was a little confusing for me when I watched it the first time around, but this time it hit me. The Doctor believed every word he said when destroying the faith Amy had in him. He is indeed just a mad man with a box, and she waited for him, and he does nothing but put her in danger. That led to the goodbye. He was afraid to lose her, because at the end, the faith she had in him to save her all the time was ungrounded and ultimately false. He's saving her one last time by leaving her. It's tragic. It's beautiful. It's what makes this show so special and timeless (pun) and it's why I am downright obsessed with it.

I could draw deep into the small part of my brain dedicated to philosophy and try to conjure up some parallel between this episode and religion. It is clear that the Minotaur thing was a kind of Godly figure, possessing its victims and having them praise him. But I think the bigger picture revolves around Amy's faith in the Doctor, the moment when he breaks that faith, and their separation. The relationship between the Doctor and his companion is so complicated and indescribable. When he smiled that crooked smile and stepped into the TARDIS alone, it damn near broke my heart. But the point is, you let go those you don't want to hurt, at least in this case. And I'm not too sure Amy's faith in him is completely broken...I sure as hell still have all my faith eggs in the Doctor basket. All in all, this episode was beautifully written, amazingly shot, and makes this show the closest thing that comes to an item of worship for me. If I had to pinpoint my faith in something, it would be the one and only Doctor. Praise him.

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I may actually be the shittiest blogger in existence.

That said. Last night I had a thought: love is when you know that regardless of whether or not you send him a birthday present, you know that he'll still love every inch of you. And knowing that, you still want to make him the best birthday present ever.

Unlike other bloggers I know, I don't usually have these existentialist, philosophical, naturalist, (insert twelve more fancy philosophy states of minds terms) rants that are interesting and pretty impressive. My thoughts revolve mainly around how dreary it is in Ithaca, trying not to fail at the career I'm pursuing, what my next meal will be, etc etc.


Maybe I'll grow to think more eventually. Although I will be thinking a lot about how we think this semester. I'm pretty excited for my psych class, and less so for my neurobio class. I need to shower.